Still the traveler, even at "home"

When I returned from my last trip, I said to myself, I have one more trip in me, one more big one and then I’m settling down, getting a full time job, a 401K and and an apartment. The Universe seems to have other plans though, plans that are revealed everyday since I arrived to Chicago in July. Right away this summer, even when I said I wanted to stay in Chicago and save for my next trip, I got a job in Milwaukee. Weekly I was traveling between home and work, living it low in a hotel half the week and then living it up in Chicago on the weekends. No settling there and still a traveler.

My time in Chicago was it’s own adventure. I’d swoop in on the weekends, meet up with friends, have gorgeous dinners and nights out… some hangover Saturdays and Bloody Mary brunch Sundays. Then I’d take Dr. Bach’s flower essences to fall asleep at 9 p.m. on Sunday night for a 6 a.m. train to Milwaukee on Monday. It was an exciting life, but again unsettled. I could have moved to Chicago, could have set up a life there, but something held me back. It could have been the winters, which I cannot tolerate anymore, and, most likely, it was the urge that I’m not done yet. It’s not that I have one big trip left in me, it’s that I have many trips left in me and the idea of being “settled” is not something the Universe lets me do, nor what I truly want.

Even the dating experience was adventurous and temporary – I only went on first dates, met interesting people, found good stories and blog entries in them, but ultimately, no one was there to stay. Like a backpacker itinerary we all moved on with memories and tales to tell. I heard society’s voices shouting there expectations in my ear…how can you expect more if you are planning a big trip? Settle down and then you can date and someone will come into your life. Maybe, maybe not. I want both, I’d like a life partner and a travel partner.

My client extended my time to the end of the year, which was fine…traveling felt better anyway to go in January instead of November as I original thought, so I can bank a little more money. I moved up to Milwaukee, spending my first day of November in half of a new apartment living with a kind, bubbly woman from work. I ended my time in Chicago rolling out of downtown in a Uhaul after spending a day moving myself and cursing my worldly attachments and all the work they entail. My wonderful extended family unloaded my bed and stuff to my new room and I spent Halloween night with them watching classic horror movies.

My parents joined me for lunch and I admitted to my mother, I’m not truly happy right now…not until I take off again on January 15. She looked sad and troubled by this, the woman who memorizes Eckhart Tolle and his words on the importance of presence. I always enjoy the present to some degree, I have a wonderful life and am blessed with many things AND I am really happy when I travel, when I am on a train, with my back pack, or sitting around a back packer hotel with a group of strangers sharing new intimacies gained by common outsider experiences.

And this next trip…well it’s not one I planned. So we’ll see what happens.

One Response to “Still the traveler, even at "home"”

  1. Miller
    November 22, 2009 at 10:08 am #

    funny you have waited a bit in between posts, I've been in the same boat. can't WAIT for this round of adventures. ahhh to clutch my backpack again on a midnight train…

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